Another picture I forgot to put up

Wes and Bobbi Jo. I knew I took this picture, but somehow it ended up in my folder of Capitol Steps pics.  Glancing in there, I knew something was wrong immediately: none of the Steps are this good looking.

Things I forgot to put up: Jon and the Top of a Famous Person's Head

My attempts to be surreptitious only lead to photographic disaster. Here we see Jon -ever stoic- on the right.  On the left we see the top of the head of one Jim Mora, a former NFL head coach, father of a current NFL coach, and a man universally renown for his rant that mainly utilized one word: "Playoffs?!"

Justice in Topeka, KS

Me hanging with Bill Kurtis, narrator of 'Ron Burgundy: Anchor Man', and host of numerous A & E shows, including Justice Files. He introduced us tonight. We're big fans of each other. But he's way richer.

Time to play...."Who's More Sheepish?!"

I would have to say Midnight wins hands down.  While I do look sheepish, I am trying far too hard to be cute for the sheepishness to have its full effect. Midnight is full-blown sheepish, though.  Not to mention quite dubious about the whole affair.  Question: if Midnight is sheepish, does that make her a b-a-a-a-a-a-a-d dog?  (Rim shot) Thank you.

Our Action Movie past....

When I cruised through Laurel and put up the little tour a while back I left out one major component: Shane's Sandwich Shop.  It's still there.

The menu hasn't changed much, if at all. The actual menu SIGN hasn't changed at all. The two-inch-thick bullet-proof clear plastic hold-up shield is gone, so maybe Laurel is doing better these days.  I couldn't bring myself to order a steak/egg/mushroom/cheese/and onion sub, but they were clearly still available.  This is the site of a traumatic incident from the past, a criminal assault by one Ricky Dean Meadows, drunken Redskin fan (and yet another reason I can never -in my heart- root for the Redskins).

Let us set the scene: the night is January 30, 1983. The date is significant to most people as the night the Washington Redskins won their first Super Bowl: the classic final run of John Riggins searing his legend into everyone's skulls and sealing his Hall of Fame selection. It is significant to fewer people as the night that 'Brigadoon' at Toby's Theatre closed. The cast party had ended, the personal belongings had been packed out of the dressing rooms, Mom and I had gathered up Katie from the babysitter's. It was 46 days after her 1st birthday. We decided to stop at Shane's for a sub on the way home. 

I walked into Shane's to order.  A drunken Redskins fan, the aforementioned Ricky Dean Meadows, is loudly and triumphantly ordering random items off the menu. The clerk/chef, a skinny, teen-aged, bespectacled nerdy sort, was trying to cope with what was obviously a lout in the throes of a drunken, brutish, tribal desire for the rapine and pillage that SHOULD come after any victory. If you're of a certain mindset, that is. After yelling triumphantly, then berating the nerd, then forgetting what he ordered and ordering a whole 'nother bunch of random stuff, the Superfan got bored and ambled outside, his various food orders already forgotten.  The clerk and I both looked relieved and he settled down to take care of my rather more pedestrian needs. Then his eyes got huge and he gestured behind me: "That guy just hit your car," he said.  Then all this happened:

(The numbered dotted paths refer to the motion of RDM's vehicle)

As I left Shane's I saw that Ricky had backed out of his parking spot (A) and (1) smashed into the front right fender of The Captain, our 1974 red Pontiac Formula Firebird, parked at (B).

Just like The Captain

As I exited Shane's, Mom was exiting The Captain, opening her passenger side door and standing up. Kate was in a car seat in the back.  At some point Ricky realized his car was plowing through another vehicle and that --being completely wasted-- exchanging insurance information would only lead to trouble. Besides, he didn't have insurance.  He put his car into forward gear, peeled around all widdershins and lit off down the parking lot (2) with me pursuing on foot, yelling his license plate number at him so he'd know sneaking off really wasn't an option.  Clearly he heard, for --as he neared the exit shared with the bowling alley-- he suddenly reversed direction (3) and accelerated back toward The Captain (4). I also reversed direction and headed back to the car, probably still yelling, although I have no idea what.  Mom had emerged and gone towards the front of The Captain, near the right front fender. The passenger door was still ajar, right next to Mom. Kate remained quiet in the backseat, contemplating the appealing glowiness of Shane's tempting signs.

Ricky hit the back of The Captain, perfectly perpendicular, right on the rear driver's side panel.  He then kept gunning it and (5) pushed the turned-off, in-parking-gear, emergency-braked Firebird 180 degrees until it was facing the opposite direction.  Mom had to back away at top speed to keep from being run over by her own car. Her legs were bruised from the open door trying to pin her as she backed away in a circle.  Ricky then (for the second time) carefully extricated his vehicle from ours, and (6) set off back toward the bowling alley exit. I managed to snag his driver's side door handle as he passed, and he dragged me down the parking lot as I furiously screeched at him and futilely tried to break his window with the soft cast I had on my remaining available hand.

And then every policeman in the world came out of everywhere and surrounded him at (C).

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Dad, you need to get these

They're like super-chocolate graham crackers. When Aussies aren't drunkenly punching 'roos or crushing Foster's cans with their bare armpits or pensively chewing on nails, they're chewing on these. Good on ya!

Welcome to the City of Moraine

Yes, that is the welcome sign to the city. And the next pictures are from the same short stretch of 'welcoming' roadway. I feel as though I'm glowing just from driving through the area. It's definitely the Capitol Steps E/M tour this year.

The coolest house, hands down, in Findlay, OH

Yo, dawg

"Yo-yo, all y'all homies need to check the flea market/gun show/wrestling emporium in Dayton. Shiznit is the bozizzle."

Detroit Metro Airport

Much like a pack of diarrhetic hounds, the Capitol Steps leave quite a mess on the sidewalk.

Keswick Theatre, Glenside, PA

Elaina on a darkened stage.

Election Day

At least one of the local congressional candidates seems to be big on defense.

The Wannamaker Building, downtown Philadelphia

Philly sucks. :(

Green Room, Spokane Opera House

Me, Ann, Howard

Redmund, OR

Clearly, the Alaskan Air guy and the Hawaiian Air girl are not on speaking terms.

Downtown Pprtland, OR

Portland is groovy, albeit overrun with bums, hobos, and beggars, like every other 'hip' place in the northwest.

Things I saw in California

Highways, big skies, clouds and mountains, of course...but also....

An IHOP with free valet parking....

The LaBrea Tar Pits, complete with faux mammals struggling in the tar....awesome!

Compton, which Snoop Dog and Dr. Dre and all the bad west coast rappers be singing about....

The famous Watts Towers, which are WAY smaller than I'd been led to believe. There's even some movie where the villain clambered to the top of them and fought with the hero until he fell to his death hundreds and hundreds of....er....inches below.

The First American Bank at the corner of Laurel Canyon Blvd. and Archwood St.  This was the scene of the infamous 1997 North Hollywood Shootout. The reddish pic is a simulation showing the gunmen emerging from these very doors.

When you have no hotel and hours to kill, you can see a lot of cool stuff.

Rest in Peace, Great

Four Points Sheraton, Rancho Cucamonga: if you can't decide...

...whether you'd like to perish from carbon monoxide poisoning or electromagnetic-radiation-induced unchecked tumor growth, then this is hotel for you!

Forgot to mention, leaving South Carolina...

...followed Dan Rather onto the plane at GSP. This would be his ass end. Inspiring, eh?

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

We land at LAX, drive to the Inland Empire and exact revenge for our travel woes by hitting the local Wabi-Sabi, which is like Benihana, only called Wabi-Sabi. Duh.

Sunrise over Dulles en route to LA

There's nothing that makes Dulles seem nicer than an almost total lack of consciousness.

Follicle control initiated

Time to go to SupahBahbah!



My surly, gay, bald, Asian superbarber. This is the only time I've ever seen him smile. Otherwise he looks like a moving mug shot. He grudgingly relinquished the information that his name is Dee.



Smooth operator!

With hours to kill and Laurel to drive through...

Thought I'd catch up on some old sites:


The lovely Laurel Square apartment at the top of Claxton drive on Contee Rd. Where we kicked out Mom's old roommate Gina and squirted out Kat. Well, one of us did, anyway.


The townhouse. I think Jame still wishes he lived there...


Good ol' Harrison, where fun times, Halloween parades, and childhood trauma occurred.


Eisenhower: it scared me when I went as a kid and I don't think Kate liked it any better.


What was "Delaney's Irish Pizza Pub", and then became just "The Irish Pizza Pub" after Old Man Delaney got caught nailing his daughter's underage teen friends, has now become the Surf-n-Suds laundrymat. Jo's first live stage show, albeit shared with a passle of drunken dwarves.


The Old Homestead. Still looking good, and not that different. The picture I tried to take of the back blurred, but your deck is still standing in its original form, Pops. You definitely build to last. I miss the tree in the front yard, though. :(

Thus ends the tour, love you guys!

Baltimore's Inner Harbor makes ya go, 'Huh?'

The boats, the grand hotels, Camden Yards, the raised walkways, the....Weird Wood Guy Carrying a Leaf...? What the--? Is that a tobacco leaf? Is that man made of cancer? Well, now I don't feel Inner Harbor-y at all!