Do have these things everywhere too?

Or is it just around here? 

Things that fall on my head

A giant,  ancient 32-inch tube tv. It fell so hard it scratched the screen.  Which is hard to do.  It destroyed a Nintendo system on its descent.  Thank God,  since that was all that cushioned my skull. Which still hurts.  Duh duh dumb, that's me.

OK, it's getting hot, it was time...

Pre...

 

And post....

Pretty American way to spend Memorial Day

At a baseball game, eating hamburgers, in the Nation's Capitol.  Click on the picture, it's a bigger landscape shot I just learned how to take. Badly. Sold out ballpark, 41, 500: Nats versus Orioles. They kicked our asses. America!

The very same clown vomiting me out of its scary-ass mouth

Pretty great and almost worth the sunburn.

The scary clown that stares at us all day and night

Since I see all my nice big picture shows bounced and never made it on the blog,  I'll do them one at a time

Mom, you would be loving it here

Epcot has this crazy flower and garden show.  Will put up more pics later

There are early signs the flight home from San Francisco might not be nightmarish.

But I'm probably wrong. 

Endless wind farms between Modesto and San Francisco

Minnie actually IS mini

This little bundle of energy is Russi Taylor.  She came to our show at CalTech with the Disney people. On her birthday!  We all sang to her afterward. She is about as Disney as you can get.  She is this amazing voice actor who has done about a billion characters over the years.  Most notably, though, she has been the official voice of Minnie Mouse since the mid-80s.  She was married to the official Mickey voice until he died a few years back. She has worked with Dawes Butler and all the classic voice artist of the last 50 years. She has three recurring characters on the Simpsons, plus a slew of one-shots; she was on The Critic back in the day...tons and tons of voice work. She's Baby Gonzo, for God's sake. So not only is her voice unusual, but she can sing, in pitch, beautiful and harmonically IN CHARACTER. Hard to do. Her voice is musical, high-pitched and sounds like little bells ringing or glass tinkling.  She sounds like a coked-up, hyper-active, very-high-pitched excited little kid on Christmas morning all the time. It's almost impossible not to listen when she speaks: her voice is that naturally amusing and entertaining.  The difference between someone with a 'good' voice and someone with a 'talented' voice and some one with a ludicrous, inimitable, natural comical instrument were never so evident to me as when I talked with her.  It is literally impossible to imagine that she would be anything other than a cartoon voice.  Very, very entertaining evening again, courtesy of our pal, Howard Green, seen here doing the dueling Howards thing with Howard, our pianist.

As for me, I was pleased because the Simpson's most prolific director, Mark Kirland, who comes to see us every year, told me every time he comes, he loves my voice more and more. I told him, well, use it, baby!  Anytime!  Hell, I'll fly out to YOU!  A fella can dream, can't he?  :)   Also, his wiki entry isn't up to date. He just directed his 75th Simpson's episode.

Also...Manson tour!

Here we have the 10000 block of Cielo Drive; up this little private drive to the right Manson's minions crept in on Mom's birthday,  1969, and murdered Sharon Tate and everyone else on the premises. 

The next night they stopped at this house up on the right and killed a wealthy grocer and his wife. I have been reading about both of these places since jr. high and neither looked the way I had imagined it. Weird. 

Driving about LA today

Saw... the Hollywood sign; the famous Beverly Hills Hotel; the tiny dressing room at CalTech I have been changing in for 20+ years. 

City Hall, Pasadena

Seen from the delightful Westin on Los Robles. This, I believe,  is my 20th yearly stay here.  Nice.

TSA Dulles

The usual theatrical security effort has been redoubled.  People are acting even more frowny and serious.  But still a useless charade. Off to California!  

David Cross -as usual- nails it

Funny guy. 

Court snorters....

Carol sent me these amusing attorney/witness interactions.  As Kate pointed out, one would initially think that the stupid things would be said by the witnesses. But as we see here, that is not necessarily the case.

ATTORNEY:      Are you sexually active?

WITNESS:        No, I just lie there.
_____________________________________________________

ATTORNEY:        What is your date of birth?

WITNESS:         July 18th.

ATTORNEY:       What year?

WITNESS:         Every year.
_____________________________________________________

ATTORNEY:        How old is your son, the one living with you?

WITNESS:          Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

ATTORNEY:        How long has he lived with you?

WITNESS:          Forty-five years.
_____________________________________________________

ATTORNEY:       This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS:         Yes.

ATTORNEY:       And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS:        I forget..

ATTORNEY:      You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________________________

ATTORNEY:      Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS:        Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_______________________________________

ATTORNEY:      The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS:        He's 20, much like your IQ.
_______________________________________

ATTORNEY:      Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS:        Are  you shitting me?
_______________________________________

ATTORNEY:      So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS:        Yes.

ATTORNEY:      And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS:        Getting laid.
_______________________________________

ATTORNEY:      She had three children, right?

WITNESS:        Yes.

ATTORNEY:      How many were boys?

WITNESS:        None.

ATTORNEY:      Were there any girls?

WITNESS:        Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY:      How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS:         By death.

ATTORNEY:      And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS:        Take a  guess.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY:      Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS:        He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY:      Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS:        Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY:      Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS:        No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY:      Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS:        All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
____________________________________

ATTORNEY:      ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS:       Oral.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY:     Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS:       The autopsy started around 8:30 PM .

ATTORNEY:     And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS:       If not, he was by the time I finished.
______________________________________

And last:

ATTORNEY:     Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS:       No.

ATTORNEY:     Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS:       No.

ATTORNEY:     Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS:       No.

ATTORNEY:     So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS:       No.

ATTORNEY:     How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS:       Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY:     I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS:       Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. 

This picture has always killed me

Glad I found it again! On that hard drive you got up for me, Pops. Thanks again.

I came home and discovered my furniture having sex. I'm not sure who to call...

The children will know of this horror...you must ask them.....

I wish I could find the writings about this place....funny.

Cherry Blossoms at Nats Park

Cee looking happy since she knows we're going to win

Is it shaving cream or has he actually become Santa Claus?

The Ronald Reagan International Trade Center

Where I perform on the weekends when in DC.  Like the late Ronald Reagan himself, it is an impressive conservative edifice: large, sturdy, beloved by the dimwitted, and as dumb as a pile of bricks, which it is.

They must be cleaning the monument again

On a lighter, happier note, found this pic while attempting to clean up my room

Cuties! Look at my beautiful, extraordinarily shy daughters. Outer Banks...hmm...12 years ago. And they're even cuter now, which kills me.

What with the recent spate of "decent" (quotes ironical) christians refusing to do business with gay folk and then screeching about discrimination when the law tells them they can sell either to everybody or to nobody (do they not remember that this same stupid trick didn't work with black people and Jews?) I present these small tributes to religion: the single worst thing that mankind has ever invented.