...Jon and I decided to try and dig up a bowling alley. But not just any bowling alley; we wanted the most American, patriotic bowling alley we could find. Cause, hell, what's the point of livin' in the good ol' US of A if you can't slap tacky eagles and statues of liberties and waving flags all over everything, no matter how stupid or desperately inappropriate. That way, even if you roll two gutter balls, you can turn to the crowd, lift your middle fingers, and say 'Fuck Brown People!' and feel glad that you're an American.
Seriously. Why do people do this crap? Do they think flags and eagles draw a crowd, or that bowling is inherently American, even though the dutch were bowling before the country was even founded? I mean, seriously, what up? Is this the right-wing version of a mezuzah? God won't kill the first-born of anyone displaying a flag decal, or a picture of an eagle? God is stupider than I thought, then.
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