The answer is: Jeopardy tryouts, Montgomery College, Germantown, MD

What is...way more screwed up, confusing, and disorganized than I thought it would be?

I think if you can figure out what they want you to do, then you automatically get on the show. Confused dunderheads have abandoned the auditorium in head-shaking, brow-furrowed droves, unable to cope with discerning whether your sign-in sheet number, random row assignation, or wristband hue contains the clue to their future returning championships.
As for me, I am number 91 out of 1000, as far as I can tell, and lurk quietly in the background, ready to strike...