Tuesday, March 30, 2010

OK, remember when I would have the kids be terrorists, or act out Hamlet?

Clearly I'm not the only twisted parent out there.  This really made me laugh. Say hello to my little friend's little friend.

If you've never seen Scarface with Pacino, this may not be as funny.  But probably will.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Yep, free wifi on Airtran thru March

And here I am smiling on board, somewhere over your house, probably, since I'm flying from western Florida..... I rain kisses down upon you!

AirTran: RSW to DCA

It's the wave of the future..... (And free on this flight...maybe I'll write again!)

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Amidst the groves of Central Florida

First off, this is a video and then a picture, which I've never mixed before, so who knows if this will work.

But we are driving from Ft. Pierce to Fort Myers across the endless orange groves in the middle of the state. Do we have to worry about gators? No. Snakes? No. Pissed off giant caimans? Hardly.

But then we discovered Florida's rarely discussed wild bear problem.

Bears? Seriously? Damn.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Ft. Pierce, FL

Rich and I rudely point from my sweet-ass balcony at the Sandhurst. Rm. 408, to be exact.

Back at National...

...heading back to Florida. "There's Old in them thar hills!"

A synagogue downtown...

...specifically, the one at 6th and I that usually prides itself on hosting an eclectic blend of things geared toward Jewish angst-iness  (F'rinstance, as you can see on the calendar, had we have arrived a half hour earlier this evening, we could have been posited the eternal question: 'Why be Jewish?'  Why indeed?  I would imagine for most it's the salary and the perqs. And don't miss Torah Yoga: Saturdays at 10!) Some of us went there tonight to see Joanna Newsom, a truly original composer, harpist, and vocalist.  She was a stunning assault on every sense.  Except smell.  This was as close as I got, and my sense of smell is not the best. Too bad.  She looked like she smelled pretty good.  I crept up close for the photo...then slunk back to my seat.  

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

We all love Janet

Several of us had done many shows in a row with dear Janet, someone I've been working with for a quarter of a century.  Janet --whilst performing-- believes very much in a Buddhist-style 'living in the now' kind of a thing during shows.  To calm her frenzied mind and achieve a perfect state of tabula rasa, she stands in front of the only mirror we have backstage, endless combing her hair, or wig, or nothing at all, often just staring for uninterrupted minutes at a time, lost deep in the familiar and intoxicating topography of her own features. Of course in the meantime, the poor men, who generally are in three or four times as many numbers as the women and have no time to lolligag --and barely any to get dressed-- find themselves contorting their reluctant and aging bodies in a variety of ways so that they can use the tiny edges of the mirror that the entranced Janet is willing to concede them.

Of course, once gone, we miss her simple-minded obstructionism and quickly use a stool, wig, and the only spare brush we have to simulate having her backstage (and in the way) again.  This picture, though dark, depicts me --during an actual show-- attempting to get ready to be a Japanese man around Fauxjanet, as we have named her/it.  Pronounced to rhyme with 'play.'

Monday, March 22, 2010

The Health Care Plan certainly has its problems....

But you have to enjoy this aspect of it, if nothing else....   Heh.  I realize Bush isn't around anymore, but I couldn't find a sadface of Boehner.  One of the most appropriately named of all the GOP leaders, I might add.

Mom, Ruth Ann got in touch with me via Skype yesterday. I was out, but she left a message.  If she can do it....you guys can do it.  

Love you all! Have a nice day!  Should be lots of whining, cursing, and threatening of people of color going on down there.  Why don't the tea-baggers bitch about the 'Universal Auto Car Insurance' coverage we all are forced to buy?  That doesn't seem to have brought down the country with its communistic setup and damn requirement for liability in case someone other than you gets hurt.  Why should you care if someone other than you gets hurt?  Commies.  And now we have to care if other people get sick.  They are taking away my right to enjoy being healthier than the people I think I'm superior to.  They're worse than commies....they're....nazi commies....who are black. So there.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

All Hail Me

I am the Blurry Backstage King,
I Sing and Dance,
I Buck and Wing,
I Clap my Hands
Until they Sting,
I am the Blurry Backstage King....

Friday, March 19, 2010


OK, the first picture shows the new high-powered, HD-capable monitor, looking great at a mere 1280x800, nicely saturated and crisp. Yet the higher resolutions are denied me...why?  WHY?

The second pic shows me happily spectacular at a super-dense 1980x1080 on the monitor...and a single clue as to what the problem was before....  A solitary, glaring, damning, dunderheaded clue.

Double Woo-hoo!

All set up and working.  And looking amazing.  It's like having me old desktop back again, except way better.  Having a little trouble getting new drivers installed so it will use the HD resolutions.  It has me download a package to unzip and then run the executable contained within to start an autosetup and install of the drivers. Except the package doesn't have an executable.  And any 'help' advice begins with, 'Now click the setup.exe in the unzipped package....'   Grrrr.  And windows 7 doesn't have the old 'update driver' button on device manager that used to make this so easy. If you have any ideas about getting around that, let me know.  :)   Even at the normal resolution it is freaking awesome, though. THANK YOU GUYS!


Thursday, March 18, 2010

Future Windfall for the South and Midwest!

Apparently, one fine day we'll be able to milk our obese citizens for their life-saving fat.  Look for investment opportunities.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


That last entry was supposed to be an email to Jon. Him and Flavah Flav are soulmates...in his heart.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

give it up

props to the hypen-est

Head in the Clouds

Ann Johnson was playing with her new laptop in the airport and made this picture using AppleSoft's background generator for her webcam.  Since I'm always a little foggy in the morning at the airport, this seems appropriate.

Dad, you can send the monitor anytime.  I'm not gone for more than a day for a while.  And not even that much very often.  :)  Thank you so much. 

Monday, March 15, 2010

Not better hair....just less...

Back home, giant suitcase unpacked

Thanks for the loan.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

A slice of painful real life

Jon and I killed the time between our final matinee and our flight home by  gorging ourselves on burnt flesh at the West Palm 'Cheeburger Cheeburger!'  Not as grotesquely as last year, when a polaroid photo of us was proudly ensconced on their wall for wrestling their famous 'Pounder' burger down our throats.  I can still feel the bloat at this distant remove.

Whilst dining on our far more reasonable fare, however, a real-life drama played out before us on the corner across the street. A very attractive young woman clearly broke things off with her not-quite-as-attractive and completely unaccepting (now ex) boyfriend.  The tears, the ranting, the pleading, the gesticulating, the look on her face that she is almost....home....free.......

Being a good American I took a picture of their pain and am now displaying it for all the world to see.  It were quite dramatical, though....

A farewell to Rm. 425, the Hampton Inn West Palm

Home for the last two weeks. A matinee, a flight, a taxi, then home. Woo-hoo!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Backstage, Rinker Auditorium, Kravis Center, West Palm Beach, FL

TW is Michael Jackson and Jon is just plain scary in a bout of Terrifying Mutant Backstage Nuptials of some kind.  Those would be very ugly children.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Rainy day in Florida

Torrential downpours are all the rage here on Florida's south coast.  How is it there?  Dad, I've been using your weather links today. Nicely comprehensive.

Mom, you had mentioned that there seemed to be a lot of pickup trucks outside of my gentlemen's club. Indeed. I cater to Southern Gentlemen, a noble breed who think with their honor and their courage and their manners and their gentrified manliness.  Men who would never stoop to use so low an organ as the brain with its ignoble heritage and base interests.  They are there to 'pick up' women. Hence the trucks. A simple matter, as it would almost have to be.  Also, one can conveniently throw up in the back while driving without having to pull over or screw up your upholstery.

It being rainy, down West Palm Way....

...Jon and I decided to try and dig up a bowling alley. But not just any bowling alley; we wanted the most American, patriotic bowling alley we could find.  Cause, hell, what's the point of livin' in the good ol' US of A if you can't slap tacky eagles and statues of liberties and waving flags all over everything, no matter how stupid or desperately inappropriate.  That way, even if you roll two gutter balls, you can turn to the crowd, lift your middle fingers, and say 'Fuck Brown People!' and feel glad that you're an American.

Seriously. Why do people do this crap?  Do they think flags and eagles draw a crowd, or that bowling is inherently American, even though the dutch were bowling before the country was even founded? I mean, seriously, what up?  Is this the right-wing version of a mezuzah? God won't kill the first-born of anyone displaying a flag decal, or a picture of an eagle?  God is stupider than I thought, then.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

I seem to have my own gentlemen's club

Bout time.....

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

City Centre, W. Palm Beach, FL

Jon and I linger near the crystalline Pringle's featured so prominently downtown.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Whycliff Country Club, Wellington, FL

A room full of quasi-ancient Jews prepares to stare dully at our program.

Our third hour-long show today. Our day off. May every day off pay so well.

Miami and Little Haiti

Jon and I drove to Miami after our show today.  We intended to shop at a real, actual voodoo shop, of which there are reputedly plenty in the Little Haiti section of North Miami.

And indeed there are.

But Afghanistan seems safer than any of the streets that make up Little Haiti.  Little Haiti seems so insanely unsafe that I didn't even want to be seen taking pictures of the locals squinting, spitting, cursing, and undoubtedly showering us with voodoo curses.  A less hospitable seeming folk can hardly be imagined.  I do include a picture of a sign reportedly put up somewhere down there. Jon and I really wanted to find it (during daylight hours) but had no luck, as we quit looking and scrammed almost immediately.

Friday, March 5, 2010

West Palm Kennel Club

Bettin' on the dawgs.  I anted up $20 and was considering the whole thing a total waste until luckily I hit a box perfecta on race three, picking 'em straight up win and place, nuthin' on the side.  I have no idea what that means, I just punched a bunch of buttons on one of the Bet-O-Matic machines that litter that place.  Upshot:, I win $17.80.  So the whole experience (we only stayed for three races...it takes forever in between) cost me $2.20.  Jon fared a little worse: he also ponied up $20 at the start, but only hit a quinella on the final race, paying him $9.  Which means something, I'm guessing.  So he lost $11.  We're not exactly high rollers....

Jon thinks he's the shit cause he got a spare

Yeah, well he didn't look so happy later when I beat him by A HUNDRED POINTS!  Yeah, sucka.....

Super Swap Shop!

Jon and I headed to Ft. Lauderdale to investigate the Super Swap Shop/Flea Markey/Drive-In Movie Palace.  Lots of insanity. Including some of the most in-your-face product knockoffs ever.  Wonder how comfortable the 'Abibas' shoes are?

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

My view for a while

The phone lines in the super-immediate foreground almost disappear from view after a while. So much of 'civilized' Florida resembles a mall located on a golf course.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Giant borrowed bag stuffed full.

Thanks, guys.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Super Bad-Ass Reservoir outside Hartford, CT

I keep thinking the Lord of the Rings is going to show up and decimate the peaceful landscape or something.....

The Warner Theatre, Torrington, CT

Various shots: the backlit star ceiling..., the monkish dressing rooms..., the elaborate house....  Pretty.  And old.  Like me.