Monday, March 21, 2011
If I am detained by the authorities...
...it will probably have something to do with the looks I was getting as I dragged this gigantic, clearly bulgingly-full, super-industrial-strength, anti-body-fluid-leakage-style, ominous, black, obviously weighty body bag down to the basement and wrestled it into the back of my car. At the very least, I should get more space on the elevators.
It's full of most of what was in my closet that I hadn't worn in years. Which was most of what was in my closet. Only big bag I could find. Seriously overkill: this bag could hold a wheelbarrow full of decaying offal without fear of mess, leaking, or breakage. It's made of plastic the thickness of a dying gazelle's ankles. So if you want to know how thick that is and you have a gazelle around the house, shoot it, and then grab its ankles. Presto. I suspect my landlord is a serial killer now for even having these tucked away in some cabinet. To Goodwill!
Posted by sadly factual at 4:22 PM